1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are always rock hard and ready to go.
3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-age men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70’s couldn’t fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman’s butt.
13. Men always groan “oh yeah!” when they cum.
14. If there is two of them, they high five each other (and the girl isn’t disgusted!)
15. Double penetration makes women smile.
16. Asian men don’t exist.
17. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won’t have even the slightest problem with you jamming your cock in his girlfriend’s mouth.
18. Nurses suck patient’s cocks.
19. Men always pull out.
20. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she’ll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking both of us.
21. Women never have headaches. Or periods.
22. When a woman is sucking a man’s cock, it’s important for him to remind her to suck it.
23. Assholes are clean.
24. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man’s trouser and find a cock there.
25. Men don’t have to beg.
26. When standing during a blow job, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman’s head and the other proudly on his hip.
27. Every guy has a penis as big as Peter North.
28. All women are completely bald.
29. Any girl with pigtails is a teen.
30. Any other girl is a MILF.