i'm in a foul mood now..

i've re-do my project and it's still not working..

after seeing all my friends project workin, i feel very demoralized!!

i got no mood to do it.. but got no choice to do..

went down to sim lim to get the components..

i seriously hope my project will work this time!

i spend like 15 bucks on this damm project alr..

i cried on the way to sim lim..

i wish baby was there with me...

there's alot of stuff in me...

i duno how to relieve myself..

crying is probably the best thing i can do alr...

i felt alot better after crying and smoking...

this will be my last entry of the month..

i need a break!!

i want to drink!!

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

2:48:00 pm

hiias... sian a!! i just got back home..
went to wen jie's place to do my project..
after few hours of hard work..
find out that my project is not working!!
i straight away got no mood to do it anymore...
called dearie and bitch with him about wad happened...
was damm stress and recently i start smoking again!!
hiias... has been so stress that on the way to meet dear..
i weep on the train... think about my project only i feel like crying...
it's like the whole class can do it.. why can't i...
anw, i meet dear after doing my project...
u know what was the best thing?
dear forget to bring his fone and he was looked for me..
lucky enough we meet each other.. haha..
the minute i saw him.. i felt so happy...
as if it's a year since i last saw him...
i felt really happy to see him..
for the whole night i felt like i dun have to worry about anything and he'll be there for me...
felt really LOVED..
but i know my miseries wil start again the minute i reach home...
dun wana talk much about it.. off to relax already!!!

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

12:13:00 am

2nd picture...

guang xian(paul), shah, amelia [top]
kwok chun(rafe), hazel, jerry [bottom]

this is me in school trying to act cute when guang xian wana take a pic of us!

anw, i did very badly for my test...

i can't even answer the simplest question .. but i dun care, dun bother..

my project is adding to the stress load im having...

i need my boyfriend to be with me here now..

i'm desperate for HUGS..

i got no mood to do my project which is due on friday..

and guess wad? my soldering iron is not working alr!!

im damm fucking stress!!

i need to get a new soldering iron... argh!!

What Is Hugging?

hugging is natural.. contain no artifical flavouring...

it's naturally sweet and 100% healthy..
a hug used little energy...

it's free and not fattening...

no insurance needed...

it's theft-proof, nontaxable and fully refundable...

huggin is healthy. It help the body's immune system..

it can cure depression...

reduces stress, it induces sleep and has no side-effects.

The Value of Hugs

hugs r free... maybe tat's y so many ppl take it for granted.
althou hug r free... they are worthless if they are nt used.
a hug not used is lost forever. On a planet that's starved for affection,
can we really afford to lose a single hug?

Scientific Research Has Shown the Following:
Every human being needs 4 hugs per day merely to survive.
8 hugs per day to maintain oneself at a strong emotional level.
12 hugs per day to grow and become a better person.

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

5:35:00 pm

Physical Signs and Symptoms of Stress

Diversion of the Blood from Less Vital to More Vital Organs

Blood is diverted from less vital structures like skin, gastrointestinal tract, liver, kidney, spleen, bone and muscle to more vital organs like brain, heart and adrenals. This is called 'Diving reflex' though the term is mostly used in the context of newborns. The effects of this reflex are

The skin becomes cold and clammy with gooseflesh standing out.
There is frequent passing of stools -the Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Existing Peptic Ulcer aggravates.
There is loss of appetite.
There is severe muscular pain, especially muscles of posture causing back pain and neck pain.
Dryness of throat and hence difficulty in speaking and swallowing.

Increase in the Heart Rate to Supply More Blood Quickly

The normal heart rate in adults is 100 beats per minute supplying about 5 liters of blood. To provide more nutrient to the body the heart rate increases. There is associated dilatation of the blood vessels also. These result in

Palpitation
Chest pain
Flushing and feeling of warmth.

Increase in the Blood Pressure to Supply Blood Efficiently

To supply the increased cardiac output efficiently, the blood pressure increases which result in

Head ache.
Precipitation of heart attack along with collection of fluids in the lungs in a heart patient.


Increase in the Respiratory Rate to get More Oxygen from the Atmosphere

As more oxygen is needed during stress, body tries to increase the respiratory rate to trap more oxygen from atmosphere. This cause

Breathlessness
Respiratory alkalosis - an acid base disturbance in blood


Mobilization of Energy Stores.

As body needs more energy during stress, extra amount of glucose is mobilized to for that purpose. Glucose is stored as glycogen in liver and muscle. The hormone cortisol breaks down glycogen into glucose. This cause

Depletion of energy stores
Hyperglycemia - increased blood glucose levels.
Increased viscosity of blood and so more chances of vessel block.

Depletion of Proteins and Fats

The hormone cortisol converts non carbohydrate substrates like protein and fat into glucose which results in

Weight loss

Other Symptoms

Suppression of immunity resulting in infection .Over reaction of immune system resulting in flare ups of Asthma, Psoriasis, Arthritis, Lupus and Urticaria.

Increased appetite leading to weight gain.
Sleeplessness
Loss of sexual drive
Memory disturbances.


Psychological Symptoms

These effects are due to increased cortisol and its metabolites and other accumulated metabolic products. The symptoms include

Mood swings
Anxiety
Depression
Outbursts of anger
Head ache
Irritability
Dependence on alcohol
Lack of concentration

Stress is a normal physiological response. When the trigger wanes, the symptoms disappear and the body returns back to normal. But if the trigger persists, then some of the symptoms also persist. They could be due to persistently high levels of stress hormones, depletion of energy stores, accumulation of toxic metabolites and sometimes depletion of stress hormones with inability to handle stress. The long term effects due to this are

Heart attack
Stroke
Weight loss
Substance abuse
Anxiety disorder
Bipolar disorder
Allergic disorders like Asthma and eczema.
Irritable Bowel Disease
Ischemic Bowel Disease like Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis.

I cried... im in deep great pain...

have not been sleep well these few days..

sleeping at 1/2 am and waking up at 8/9 am...

my mind has not get a good rest since saturday...

i took a nap just now and when i wake up,

i got split headache... feel like vomitting...

i told baby about it hopping he'll tell me sth that will make me feel better...

guess what i recieve?

'stay at home and rest'
'drink water?'
'maybe can wash away the vomitting feeling?'
'or just relax awhile first?'
'maybe is u never eat ba'
'thn u sleep earlier tonight?'

nothing i expected was heard... not even a "take care dear"...

i dun expect him to come over.. but at least ask me to take care..

maybe i'm expected a little too much..

im suppose to go over tonight... but he ask me to stay at home to rest..

suddenly i feel my boyfriend is not caring for me anymore...

did not even ask me to go over so he could take care of me...

am i expecting too much? i know ur stress also...

i have an exams like in 12hrs and i couldn't get anything in my mind...

how i wish i could just pop dozen of panadols...

and my pains will be gone...

hias.. im lost in words...

i need to clear my mind...

FUCK OFF EVERYONE... I JUST WANA BE ALONE

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

8:20:00 pm

this is my project... haha.. look nice a... but it's not completed..

i haven done my sensor part... and this already take me 4hrs..

this is the most stressing part... and when i'm home.. i got no motivation to do it..
how i wish things were easier... and what's worst?

i got an exam tmr... when i ask teacher for the past year exam ans...

he told me friday he'll pass us...

did not give us answer for the past yr paper how to study?

he said he's not going to spoon feed us...

like what the hell.. even poly students got past yr paper with ans to study!!

he did not go through with us anything and expect us to study like duno what!

I'M STRESSED!! GOT NO IDEA OF WHAT TO STUDY...

WHERE TO START AND HOW TO START!!

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

4:55:00 pm

friend (frěnd) n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.

i've list down the definition of friend... so tell me, am i ur friend?
wad a friend should do...and can u be trusted ANYMORE?
what happened today is a disaster.. and it really make me see through you...
i'm not disappointed or sad.. but just WHY?
i used to think that we have the same mentality..
things will change after today.. we'll still be friends i guess...
since i'm used to being alone.. it doesn't affect me much anyway...
i'm damm freaking picky about who becomes my friend...
if u think u treasure this friendship, prove to me...

dearie has not been feeling good the whole weekend...
i've been trying my best to reassure him and stuff but things are not working...
i'm quite stress in school alr and he's adding stress...
he make me think that i'm not a good girlfriend and stuff...
i did cried la... lOl... couldn't take it anymore..
i'm alr trying my very best to make him feel better..
yet nothing is improving... he said he's paranoid...
maybe and i seriously hope so..



the paper was reletively easy... haha.. much easier then i expected...
i finish within half an hour... amazingly i know 80% of the questions...
i'm happy that i studied so hard and it paid off...
now one more paper to go and i can relax abit...
next week will be the board exam already...
i'm worried and scared that i will not be able to make it through!!
wish me luck people...

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

11:35:00 pm

i'm back from work... hmm... i duno why am i having ache all over my body..
today was super busy at work.. call keep coming in like nobody business...
lucky there was only one compliant...
went home super early to join daddy mummy for breakfast... hee..
eat abit before going to work.. met bobson on the bus...
raining heavily and he did not knw the sheltered way to store.. so i led..
did not eat anything at work... now i'm having headache and am feeling weak..
maybe cause not having enough sleep... 10more hrs till my exam...
wish me luck!! i'm going to do last min mugging before exams tmr...
nitez!!

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

11:27:00 pm

do u know that drinking too much water is not good for health??

Drinking too much water can lead to a condition known as water intoxication and to a related problem resulting from the dilution of sodium in the body, hyponatremia. Water intoxication is most commonly seen in infants under six months of age and sometimes in athletes. A baby can get water intoxication as a result of drinking several bottles of water a day or from drinking infant formula that has been diluted too much. Athletes can also suffer from water intoxication. Athletes sweat heavily, losing both water and electrolytes. Water intoxication and hyponatremia result when a dehydrated person drinks too much water without the accompanying electrolytes.

source from http://chemistry.about.com/

so people.. dun think that drinking alot of water is really good for health... drink enough, but not too much...

dear is at tanah merah trial...
fyi, that "22" is my number!!
his MINE!
baby has not been taking to me..
all the way i'm the one talking.. he's the one listening...
we've not been communicating... so i suggested going dam last nite..
talk abit.. and i'm happy with it...
"dear, u have been a good gf... so good i'm afraid of losing u"

4 more days left till i leave this school...
i wonder will we still be good friends..
will we still hang out...
i seriously wish we'll remain as close..
suddenly i felt lonely..
like i'm going to be alone...
hiias... BFF.. do u believe in this??

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

9:59:00 am

hmm... something shocked me today..

which i am not suppose to say...

din not expect it to happen..

i'm damm pissed off with my project..

so i ended up burning the wires!!

lOlx.. shall post a pic of my project when it's done..

dearie had bad dreams these few days...

dream of us breaking up..

me leaving for another person..

hiias.. tried to assure him...

duno if it's working anot...

anw, i've watched the kingdom...

was quite a nice show... haha.. but very violent...

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

12:25:00 am

i've change my blogskin again!!

haha... pls comment on it!!

i'm suffering from eyes infection..

duno why eyes keep tearing...

i couldn't concentrate on my project..

tomorrow mus pass up and i still got alot left to do...

anw, dearie came over today do to his homework while waiting for his bike..

when mummy came back.. she ask me why nv pour drink for him.. haha..

cause that kid got himself a 100 plus before coming to my place ma..

ask him to get eye drop for me.. it's getting better but still not good...

i miss him like hell can... haha... but tomorrow going to stay over..

loves... got to go do my work alr..

picture from deviantART

the difference between marketing, PR, advertising, and branding...

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

8:48:00 pm

today had my wireless LAN phase test... damm easy!! got alot confidence will pass...
but my sensor car den jialat alr... lOlx...hmm, i dun tink we'll have time to meet til friday... she's working... and i nid to rush for project!! saw 2 disgusting photo in school... anw, went to seoul garden for lunch with the gang to celebrate jia jun's birthday... let the pictures do the talkin bah! hee...

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

8:34:00 pm

i'm screwed!!!
my project wun be working well..
so i redo.. bought the whole set of component..
have to be done by this wednesday...
hias.. stressed... baby have been thinking alot!!
i've got no mood to blog.. here's the pic...

i swear that i'm not going to get tired of u and never will i..

ur my heroin, my addiction..

without u, life will be so miserable...

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

11:02:00 pm

hey hey!!
i jus got back home from a long tiring day..
went down to pasir ris park for the east area district camp...
mayflower was incharge of the cmapfire...
was being arrowed to be the MC.. haha...
was not too bad.. but the crowd was not enthu enuff..
maybe cause of the many tiring activities they've done..
mdm catherine was insisting that i go for the national leader gathering...
haha.. but seriously a.. i dun really feel like going.. haha..
i forgotten to take my wallet out today but luckily guang xian came to my resue...
had fun there but it was damm tiring...
wearing heels walking around the mud for like 5hrs is no fun!!!
and wad's more... carry the bench alone from one point to another...
haha... all was fun cause scouting is fun!! hee... =))

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

12:28:00 am

I'M SICK!!

oh my god.. on this special day, i fall sick...
like wadda fuck?!?!
i had diahorrea, headache,stomach cramps and vomitting...
only ate a small bowl or prawn mee and a cup of mango juice...
i had no mood to eat... it's like what ever which is not digested will come out..
now my stomach is empty.. like literally nothing for me to vomit alr...
on my 7th monthsary i fall sick!! my god... and some more tomorrow i got a long day..
had to go for scouts the whole day... wtf... hias... off to rest alr.. night people!!

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

9:46:00 pm

hey!!

any one got the sims 2 open for business??
pls lend me!! i wan it..
i suddenly got this craze for play the sims2..
haha... i'm going to get the sims 2 seasons..
i'm crazy!! did not went to school today...
and guess wad!! tomorrow is the 7th month!!
i'm happy happy!!
need to plan for my future... where to work!!!

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

10:10:00 pm

ok ok.. i uploaded my ugly computer table alr... haha..
these few days nothing to do... i'll stop schooling and of this month...
and in the early december i'll have my exams...
i nid to get a job soon... better to be those admin one...
one month earn 1.2k like that.. i tink i'm going to get private diploma...
better den a school one.. faster and cheaper... hee.. =))..
went to school to study and test.. today saw a lorry mount cerb(duno how to spell)
and a helmetless motorist... haha.. interesting day today...
i've change my blog song.. damm nice but i duno wad's the title!

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

9:37:00 pm

Why do dogs bury bones?

Well what's the sense in burying it if they never come back to eat it?

" It's their instinct from when they were wild animals - they bury food that's left over for a "rainy day" when there's no food available. Of course with 99 per cent of domestic dogs, that day will never come, but they can't help themselves! "

credits from

hmm.. i've got area camp next week... long time since i went for scouting activities... dear's going trail while im going for camp.. hee.. so lucky we got activities to do.. hmm.. went for a meeting yesterday... did update myself abit... quite ok... after meeting went to get ingredients for supper... cook spaghetti with seafood mushroom... it wasn't not that nice as the one with mushroom only... watch abit of TV and went to sleep... going to temple now.. dear got TP tomorrow... pray for good luck... after that duno where to go alr.. haha... got to have lunch now... bye!!

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

12:36:00 pm

hmm.. i got my new desktop alr... damm cool!!
wahaha... when i got the time, i'll upload a screenshot of the mointor...
worked today... rush here and there...
tomorrow going house of condom with cliques~
hope to have fun...

ppl will only rmb u cause of the bad and wrong things u've done..
very seldom will ppl rmb cause of sth nice or good u did..
i suddenly thought of ppl who will rmb me...
even if they rmb-ed.. is cause of the good or the bad stuff i've done to them?
of course i rmb ppl when ppl did sth gd and bad...
i tink i've been very evil to alot ppl... hiias... bad girl..
i've been thinking about my past... why i did not study well...
even if i nv study well, why i quit school that time..
hias.. kinda regret.. now i'm thinking abt my future...
work or study... study PT dipolma or full time H. nitec?
work as wad? argh... in a month time i'll take my final exam...
i seriously need to plan for my future...

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

12:30:00 am

dinner at carnivore with dear's family yesterday.. celebrate his brother's birthday.. the food there was nice.. esp the meat!! wahaha.. had a very very full dinner.. afternoon lesson was cancelled... so no school.. all i have to do is to wait for dearie to finish driving and off we'll go to my place.. dear is going to help us carry lap top.. haha.. and it's his 1st time to meet my daddy.. =).. 7th month going to come alr.. time flies!! wOhOO.. very soon 1 year will come... nice...

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

12:54:00 pm

hey! i got wake up from a nap at dearie place..
haha... for the 1st time i went to his place alone!! SCARY...
went to school for my wireless LAN test.. after that went to house of condom...
we couldn't go in cause guang xian was wearing sch pe tee shirt..
but we managed to see the condom we wanted...
hee.. head to john little to look for shirt for kwok chun...
walk ard for while before heading home..

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

6:22:00 pm

i bought doughnuts from munchy doughnut... new branch opened at toa payoh.. so i joined the que with sister... lOlx.. she smashed the doughnuts!! i bought cinnamon, oreo and cheese.. not that bad actually.. i injured my toes.. and so i was limping to school... took a long time to get to school from econ... usually i walk the fastest but now the slowest... hias.. sianified... i'm too distracted to talk.. got a test tomorrow.. nitez ppl...

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

10:56:00 pm

im waiting for my baby to reach home!
it's raining quite heavily now..
and he is shivering his way home!!
how i wish daddy wasn't that fierce so baby could stay over at my place..
hias...
worried sick!

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

12:48:00 am

this was me on friday! went out with my sister~

had sakae sushi for BRA-unch-NER.. (breakfast,lunch and dinner)... suppose to meet the guys for kangwei's bdae outing... but i knw if i appear with my bf.. he sure black face.. so i avoided.. but saw them at cineleisure.. so guang xian and kwok chun asked if i wana join them.. so i say anything lo.. since alr see them, can't jus leave wad... the minute kangwei saw me, his face turn BLACK~~ like literally black.. sian 1/2 can!! keep asking the gang when wana leave.. i did not suggest to stay and watch at cine.. i even asked where they're going to watch.. end up kena blame by that EMO kid say i come only they all follow me... FUCKing hell... damm pissed la... i'll make sure he'll be like je***ca.. suffer horrible death in sch! leave without a word... like one small kid like that.. anw, we did really care if he's here anot.. he's not der better still... we got no worries... watched game plan... quite a nice show~ love it alot.. after movie, we went to bugis to get my jeans while my dear bf bought some LMAO shirt la.. cheapo nice shirt.. wahhaa... anw, im still wondering if i should get the little miss tee anot... haha.. gimmi ideas!!! c'ya.. it's getting late...

•·.·´¯`·.·•ღ LOVE ღ•·.·´¯`·.·•

11:36:00 pm

This is my blog.
Please respect it cause it's not yours.

If you don't like my blog,
you can Click here.

best view:

resolution: 1280 x 768

sweetheart(s) reading now

The Little Bytch ♥
hazelyn chua
蔡欣怡
22 AUGUST 88
project drafter
interior design student
mayflower asst. scout leader
single, available
PURPLE and RED

| September 2003 | November 2003 | December 2003 | January 2004 | February 2004 | March 2004 | June 2004 | July 2004 | August 2004 | September 2004 | October 2004 | November 2004 | December 2004 | January 2005 | February 2005 | March 2005 | April 2005 | May 2005 | June 2005 | July 2005 | August 2005 | September 2005 | October 2005 | November 2005 | December 2005 | January 2006 | February 2006 | March 2006 | April 2006 | May 2006 | June 2006 | July 2006 | August 2006 | September 2006 | October 2006 | November 2006 | December 2006 | January 2007 | February 2007 | March 2007 | April 2007 | May 2007 | June 2007 | July 2007 | August 2007 | September 2007 | October 2007 | November 2007 | December 2007 | January 2008 | February 2008 | March 2008 | April 2008 | May 2008 | June 2008 | July 2008 | August 2008 | September 2008 | October 2008 | November 2008 | January 2009 | April 2009 | May 2009 | June 2009 | July 2009 | August 2009 | September 2009 | October 2009 | November 2009 | December 2009 | January 2010 | February 2010 | March 2010 | April 2010 | May 2010 | June 2010 | July 2010 | August 2010 | September 2010 | October 2010 | November 2010 | December 2010 | January 2011 | February 2011 | March 2011 | April 2011 | May 2011 | June 2011 | July 2011 | August 2011 | September 2011 | October 2011 | November 2011 | December 2011 | January 2012 | February 2012 | March 2012 | April 2012 | May 2012 | June 2012 | July 2012 | August 2012 | September 2012 | October 2012 | November 2012 | January 2013 | March 2013 | March 2014 |

charlene | michelle | raymond | xiao Bai | Jocelyn | Rachel | via | vivian | samuel | firespitter |